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Harry Potter and the Cracked Reservoir
Chapter 32: Bill ’s Prank
By Musings of Apathy
Chapter 32: Bill’s Prank
Thank you to my Betas Cateagle and Sparky40sw.
A couple of weeks after the mostly successful Halloween Ball, Harry sat down to breakfast at the normal time, surrounded by most of his friends. Not escaping his notice, however, was the absence of his lovely girlfriend, Ginny.
"Ron, where’s Ginny?" Harry asked.
"I d’no," Ron mumbled around his eggs and potatoes.
"Oh, Ron, honestly. Don’t talk with your mouth full," chided Hermione. "That’s really disgusting."
Ron swallowed hard before replying.
"Sorry, Mione," said Ron with a freshly empty mouth, "But he asked."
"Yeah, Hermione, I’m sorry," added Harry. "After all, I should have known better than to ask Ron a question without making sure, for him, that his mouth was already empty."
Hermione tried her hardest to place a stern look on her face as she peered at her boyfriend and best friend, but soon lost it and was laughing deeply through her chest, causing Harry to lose his composure and join her.
"Hey, be quiet you two," said Ron with a scowl.
This only had the effect of making them laugh harder and clutch their sides in pain from too much laughter. In their merriment, they failed to notice the flock of owls that were swooping through the rafters.
Nearly everyone, however, noticed when an angry red envelope was dropped in front of Harry. The din in the hall instantly dropped to a murmur.
Harry saw nothing else he could do; so he decided to be a Gryffindor and just open the thing.
"HELLO HARRY," boomed a great voice in the hall.
"Bill," muttered Harry.
"YES, IT IS I, YOUR SOMEDAY TO BE BROTHER-IN-LAW, BILL."
Harry blushed to the roots of his hair.
In the pause of the howler someone female a couple of tables over yelled, "What!?! Harry’s engaged!?!"
"No, but give it time!" someone else yelled to peels of laughter. Harry didn’t recognize either voice.
"AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THIS IS MY OWN CONTRIBUTION TO THE GREAT WEASLEY PRANK FEST. BY NOW A CURSE HAS ALREADY BEEN CAST ON YOU THAT WILL LAST UNTIL CURFEW TONIGHT, AND NO, IT CAN’T BE BROKEN.
"DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE NOT ONLY FEMALE VEELA, BUT ALSO MALE VEELA? I BELIEVE THAT THIS MUST HAVE BEEN AS OBVIOUS TO YOU AS IT IS TO THE REST OF US. THE INTERESTING THING ABOUT THAT IS WITCHES RESPOND DIFFERENTLY TO MALE VEELA THAN WIZARDS RESPOND TO THE FEMALE. WHERE THE WIZARD TRIES TO WIN THE AFFECTIONS OF THE FEMALE THROUGH BRAGGERY AND FEATS OF DARING, THE WITCH WILL TRY TO WIN THE AFFECTIONS OF MALE THROUGH MORE DIRECT MEANS."
Harry blanched during the pause in the letter.
"This can’t be good."
"Don’t worry, Harry, I’m sure that the girls will leave you alone," offered Hermione.
"WELL, HARRY, I DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY FOR US TO BE SURE OF YOUR SINGULAR AFFECTIONS FOR OUR SISTER, WAS TO LET YOU EXPERIENCE ONE DAY AS A MALE VEELA. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT I WASN’T ABLE TO TEST THIS, SO IT MAY BE A MIGHT OVERPOWERED. SO, EXPECT VERY DIRECT MEANS OF SEDUCTION TODAY, HARRY. THE MOST COMMON IS A PASSIONATE KISS ON THE MOUTH, BUT IT CAN VARY. IF YOU, AS THE VEELA IN QUESTION, HAVE NO INTEREST IN THE SUITERESS YOU WILL, INSTINCTIVELY, SEND A WHISP OF MAGIC THAT WILL LEAVE THE AFFECTED PARTY WITH JUST ENOUGH STRENGTH TO STAGGER AWAY WITH A SMILE PLASTERED ON HER FACE. AND GUYS, DON’T GET MAD AT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS; THEY’LL BE BACK TOMORROW SOMEWHAT HAPPIER BUT NOT ANY MORE IN LOVE WITH HARRY THAN BEFORE. AND DON’T GET MAD AT HARRY; HE HAS NO CHOICE. I’M SURE HE’D RATHER BE KISSING MY DEAR SISTER, BUT I COULD NOT HAVE THAT HAPPENING, SO SHE’S SECRETED AWAY IN SAFETY FROM THIS LETCH."
Harry was not looking very courageous at this point.
The teachers at the head table were looking a mixture of angry, appalled and amused at the breakfast revelation.
The range of emotions from the students in the hall were wide, with anger, disgust and decidedly dangerous feral want, with the grin of a predator in their eyes.
"OH, BEFORE I GO, FOR PROPRIETY SAKE, THIS IS SPELLED TO ONLY AFFECT TEENAGE FEMALES. SORRY DRACO. ALSO, HARRY, JUST SO THERE IS NO HARD FEELINGS OF YOU BEING INJURED, I HAVE LACED THIS WITH A PAIN RELIEVER FOR THE NEXT DAY OR SO, JUST IN CASE ANY GIRLS OR WOMEN GET AGGRESSIVE AND, OH YES, A SPELL TO PREVENT CHAPPED LIPS. ANYWAY…IT’S NICE TO HAVE YOU AS A POTENTIAL PART OF THE FAMILY, HARRY.
"YOUR FRIEND, BILL WEASLEY.
"P.S. THE EFFECTS OF THE CURSE START…NOW!"
At the final pronouncement, the letter reduced itself to ashes, leaving behind the, now standard, calling card so that Harry can identify the prankster.
Harry lost no time in getting up and grabbing the card. He didn’t have to look around to know that he was the center of attention. Nor did he have to look to tell what looks the audience had on their faces.
He moved slowly so as not to startle anyone into action.
With his head down, he addressed Hermione.
"Hermione," Harry asked, "can you go to my dorm and get the map and find Ginny?"
"Sure, Harry," replied his best female friend, "Oh, and Harry?"
Harry looked up at the inquiring tone.
What he saw scared him a little. Hermione had a look of a feral predator. She reached forward, grabbing his head and kissed him deeply before he momentarily returned the kiss and whisp of magic as the curse required.
She broke the kiss and staggered back slightly before skipping off.
Harry turned his attention to his best friend. Ron simply had a look of utter shock and disbelief on his face.
"Ron, I am so sorry. Please don’t blame us. It’s Bill’s fault."
Ron just nodded, wide eyed and slack jawed.
Harry felt people approaching him from behind. He turned to see several girls approaching him cautiously. Harry looked at the possible avenues of escape and found them all blocked with the great hall doors closed and blocked by a group of girls and the other door, the one behind the teachers, similarly blocked.
Damn Ron’s prank, Harry thought, I bet that half of these girls wouldn’t give me a second glance, otherwise.
Harry made a split second decision and pointed his wand in the air and repeated a performance from his fourth year in the first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
"ACCIO FIREBOLT," he screamed with not a little power.
At this the assembled girls and, well, women, lost all inhibition and rushed the most eligible bachelor in all of England (as reported by Witch Weekly).
Meanwhile, his girlfriend found herself locked in the room of requirements with naught but a note from her favorite brother, Bill.
Dear Ginny,
I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’ve been forced to lock you in this room until tomorrow due to a prank being played on dear Harry. At this moment Harry has been cursed so that every teenage girl will be affected as if Harry were a male veela. I thought that this would be the best way to test his loyalty so we can be confident he is the best for our little Ginny.
Now, you won’t be able to get out, as it’d take an Egyptian curse-breaker to unlock the doors before six, tomorrow morning, so just sit back and relax. This room will provide anything that you may need for the duration of your stay. Just think it and it’ll be yours, Ginny. I recommend books on male veelas.
Have a good time. Harry will be returned to you better than new tomorrow morning…well, as long as he is faithful.
Love,
Bill
Ginny was fuming. If the letter and her limited knowledge of male veelas were correct, her boyfriend was being touched and kissed by females that were not her, and that made her mad.
Was it mentioned already that Weasley women were scary when they are mad?
Ginny grinned sadistically when a thought came to her mind.
She cleared her throat, "Hmmpm, hmmpm…I need…"
At that moment, Hermione was tearing through the Gryffindor common room and up the Boy’s stairs to the sixth year’s dorm room. She had barely made it out of the great hall before she heard the definite click of the doors locking behind her.
She opened Harry’s trunk, removed the Marauder’s Map and quickly activated it.
Finding Ginny was easy, due to the fact that nearly everyone in the school was in the great hall still.
Hermione wiped the map clean and ran back down the stairs to go retrieve her other best friend from the Room of Requirements.
"How can this get any worse?" she muttered.
Harry was not having fun. The doors to the Great Hall were closed shortly before Harry was set upon and surrounded by a horde of admirers, convincing him that the main door would not be his avenue of escape. The teachers were on the periphery trying to control the mob with little luck.
Harry was passed from female to female, some decidedly women, others most definitely still girls. The Gryffindor benches were littered with girls now too weak to want to walk away; a smile as bright as the sun filling their faces. He only had time in transit for a breath and maybe a comment.
"Hello…"
"Oh, my…"
"Hey, watch the hands. No exploration."
"Oh, boy…"
"Hey, I happen to know that you are a first year young lady. The curse won’t affect you."
The girl in question decided to return the comment before enjoying the kiss. "I know, but when else will I get the chance?" she said before kissing him strongly.
"Must be a Gryffindor," Harry mumbled.
Throughout this, Harry had been listening intently for the telltale sound of his broom flying through the air. It had just been a minute since he called it and he was already looking for his escape. A whole day of this treatment would not bode well for Harry’s sanity or health.
Ginny’s experience over the summer with Harry watching the muggle movie came to be useful. She was very glad that she had spent time with Harry, having him explain everything muggle in the movie.
"Hmmpm, hmmpm…I need…a rocket launcher!"
‘Aren’t muggle action movies great?’ she thought.
She picked up the green tubular device up from the floor and read the easy to follow directions displayed with stickers on the tube. Luckily they even were specific as to which direction the rocket came out.
No keeping Ginevra Molly Weasley locked up.
Harry’s hopes came true when he heard the sound of his broom’s approach, luckily threading its way through the owl entrance in the dormers.
Harry stuck his right arm straight into the air, despite the girls still kissing him and attempting to drag his arm back down for an embrace.
He felt the cool wood slap into his hand and pulled it down enough to command the broom to pull him up.
He finished his last kiss as his feel left the ground. The ladies gasped when he pulled himself up and threw himself over the broom with one arm. Harry made one lap of the hall before angling upward before disappearing through the sky illusion and threading his way back through the owl entrance and into the open air of the Hogwarts Grounds.
Harry chuckled to himself, steering for the quidditch pitch.
"Pretty good one, Bill," Harry mused to the open air. "But not exactly what I want to be doing on my Saturday."
The professors watched the pandemonium as Harry made his spectacular exit of the hall through the most unlikely exit. They had been trying to regain control, but the event had lasted less than five minutes, and despite their combined power, they were not that quick.
Professor Dumbledore had to chuckle to himself as he realized the ingenuity of his favorite student. Harry had, once again, escaped from the inescapable.
The uncontrollable crowds in the great hall suddenly realized where the object of their affection had gone. In a rush, they all ran out through the freshly unlocked great double doors and out of the school in the quickest manner possible.
Professor Dumbledore heard the distinctive pops of the great seal activating like popcorn, diverting many of Harry’s admirers to other locations around the school. The castle must have been trying to protect Harry to some extent, as the Headmaster was sure that the seals were set to passive when he came down to breakfast. If he were to go to his office, he was sure that he would find it set to random (prank) mode at the moment.
The venerable professor was shook out of his reverie by the sound of a distant explosion. The source was identified by his connection to the wards, as they reported damage to the seventh floor corridor.
The other professors turned to him in question of what to do now.
"Minerva, Severus, please come with me," Dumbledore commanded. "The rest of you, please look after the students outside."
The teachers walked off at a health pace and parted in the entrance hall.
Hermione skidded to a halt outside of the Room of Requirements, finding the hall littered with wood splinters and the wall scorched. She picked her way into the room, astonished.
What she found was an empty room, save for the green tube and a sheet of parchment. She picked up the parchment and started to read.
The sight before the senior professors on the seventh floor was amazing. They tentatively picked their way through the splinters to make it to the door, or at least the doorway, as it could be argued that they made it to the door as soon as they stepped onto the first splinter at the top of the steps.
"Miss Granger," started Professor Snape in a stern manner, "Do you have an explanation for this?"
Hermione looked up, her eyes wide.
She held out the letter and let Professor Dumbledore read it aloud to the others.
"Albus, if the door was warded like and Egyptian tomb, how did Miss Weasley get out so quickly?"
Hermione cleared her throat to get the adult’s attention.
"I think that I know," she said while pointing at the device on the ground.
"What is that, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked.
She bent down to read the writing on the tube.
"RPG-18, anti-tank rocket propelled grenade," Hermione read for them.
"And what exactly is that?" Severus asked.
"Sir, it is a muggle device that shoots a bit of explosive propelled by a type of rocket that explodes on impact with anything solid."
Dumbledore just had to chuckle at the absurdity of the whole mess.
"Well," he chuckled, "it would seem that Miss Weasley has found a way to defeat the ancient Egyptian wards, Minerva."
Ginny tore down the secret passageways, making her way to the Great Hall, intent on finding Harry as soon as she could. There she found not a soul.
She began her search up and down each hallway, frantic to find her boyfriend.
She found no one until the second floor where she nearly collided with Justin something or other.
"Justin, have you seen Harry?" Ginny gasped.
"Sure," he chuckled, "After nearly getting mauled by the crowd of girls, he summoned his broom and left the hall."
He led her to the window overlooking the quidditch pitch and pointed out the lone figure gliding around the pitch on a broom, while the pitch itself was covered in people standing and sitting, looking up at him. Ginny could not guess at Justin’s motivation to find this whole thing so humorous, because she could see nothing funny about it. She didn’t have time to worry about the other student’s hang-ups, however. She was busy enough dealing with her brothers and boyfriend.
"What?…Oh this is impossible," Ginny declared. "Thanks, Justin."
She ran off to the Gryffindor tower for supplies.
"Albus, what are we going to do about this?" Minerva asked.
"This, the prank on Harry or this, the Room of Requirements?" Albus asked.
"Both," McGonagall replied.
"Well, we certainly can’t give Harry a detention for being the object of a prank," replied Dumbledore, "and, as this is not considered a dark curse, William Weasley won’t be sought by magical law enforcement. And just to be sure, I checked some of the girls for secondary curses."
"And?" she prompted.
"In truth?" Dumbledore continued. "There were none."
"But all of those girls," McGonagall exclaimed. "They were practically tearing the robes off of his back."
"That would be the power of the male veela," Dumbledore smiled. "All those witches who were attracted to Harry before now have an excuse."
"But, but, what do you mean an excuse?" Minerva stammered. "What about all of the veela stuff? And how come I’ve never seen a male veela before?"
"Simple, Minerva," Dumbledore explained, "they believe they are under a spell, and so they act accordingly. He does have many admirers and Mr. Weasley’s prank before Halloween didn’t lessen that group. We can only be glad that this was not announced in Witch Weekly or the school would be overrun."
"Quite," Professor McGonagall agreed after a contemplative pause.
Dumbledore continued answering her earlier questions, "And you have never seen a male veela before because of the reaction of non-veela females. They rarely leave their settlements."
"Oh my," McGonagall said, "I guess I can understand, in that case."
Harry floated lazily on his broom, reclining back with his feet about the tip of the handle. He was quite comfortable and relaxed. He was sure it couldn’t last. Eventually someone would figure it out and retrieve her broom and join him. The aerial combat that thought promised made his Quidditch days seem tame in comparison.
He heard gasps from the assembled crowd and assumed it meant that someone had finally realized the solution to his unreachable status.
Before he could think of maneuvering he was set upon and snogged in mid-air. He struggled slightly, but the veela in him wasn’t reacting. No magic, whisp like or otherwise, was reacting to this kiss, nearly the opposite in fact. His magic embraced the woman kissing him. He panicked, knowing that he didn’t want to cheat on Ginny and feeling betrayed that the veela magic had not ended the kiss. He pushed the female form from him, ending the kiss.
"Humph, well if that is how you feel, Harry, I’ll just leave you to the lovely ladies below," the woman said with an obvious glint of humor.
Harry turned then to see the object of his affection.
"Gin," he said then launched himself back at her.
"And the Room of Requirement?" McGonagall asked.
"Well, I am reluctant to punish a student for damaging the school when they have been locked in a room against their will," Dumbledore reasoned. "She was, after all, only trying to affect her own release."
"So no punishment then?" McGonagall continued, wanting to find someone at fault.
"If you wish, you can assign the two to fix the damage and make sure that the room is fully functional," said Professor Dumbledore.
"How is that possible?" asked Professor McGonagall. "The founders made that room and they were some very powerful witches and wizards."
"Harry is up to the task and Miss Weasley can assist him with research." The Headmaster smiled mysteriously at his second in command. "Harry, after all, did redo the ceiling in the Great Hall after a training accident shortly after he arrived."
"He recast the ceiling?" she asked, amazed. "I thought that he had only repaired it. That is very a very powerful charm. Does Filius know about that?"
"No, but you may tell him if you wish," the Headmaster replied with the twinkle firmly set in his eyes.
"He will be proud and impressed," she smiled.
"Indeed."
The aerial couple slowly rotated as they kissed and hugged tightly.
After returning yet another kiss, Harry broke contact to peer into Ginny’s beautiful chocolate eyes.
"Ginny, thanks for coming to my rescue," Harry said sincerely, "but it won’t take long for those admirers below to figure out that they can get to me just like you did."
"Oh, shoot…you’re right. Where can we hide?" she asked.
"We? Are you saying that you are willing to go on the lam with me, my fiery young lass," Harry flirted.
"Why, yes good sir," Ginny returned.
"Follow me," Harry commanded.
With that he took off on his broom, confident that Ginny would follow and could keep up on her new broom. With a flick of his wand the main doors of the castle opened allowing the couple access to the entry hall.
Harry landed lightly on the great seal of Hogwarts and Ginny came to rest beside him a moment later.
"Where are we going, Harry?" asked Ginny, curiously.
"We can hide in the Chamber if that’s okay," he said shyly, afraid that she would reject the idea of hiding there, cut off from the rest of the school.
"Of course that’s okay," she answered. "Do you think that anyone will follow us?"
"I’ll shut the seals down right away," Harry confirmed, "and the entrance in Myrtle’s bathroom is already closed."
"What if someone needs us?" she asked.
"We can take a day off," he assured her. "Besides, the Headmaster can send Dobby or Fawkes down to find us if necessary."
"Sure, thanks Harry," she said sincerely with a peck on his cheek. "Let’s go."
Unnoticed, they disappeared. Moments later, the stone in the seal seemed to lose some of its glow.