Family Inseparable
Chapter 1
By Musings of Apathy
Reviews
Lady_Gallatea_Ravenclaw posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:51am for Chapter 1
Awesome fanfic! I love this so much- great characterization and use of language. I really like how the plot moves logically and everything is precise.
I can't wait until the next chapter comes out!
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:22am for Chapter 1
I liked it very much and sincerely look forward to reading more!
shalgal posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:03am for Chapter 1
Very awesome story! I can't wait for the next installment.
Ashley Drury posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:59am for Chapter 1
Hi there,
I like it. Well written, good grammer and above all else an interesting story. Please keep it up.
Thanks.
Katherine posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:30am for Chapter 1
Great first chapter - can't wait to read the rest!
riegert8 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:24am for Chapter 1
I like this story. it has a good start.
Life's a Dance posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:16am for Chapter 1
Is this going to be a continuing story? If so, it's great :D
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:03am for Chapter 1
Good chapter. It would benefit from a good beta'ing or re-edit, but it's still enjoyable.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
jilumasam posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 4:07am for Chapter 1
Excellent! Looking forward to more!
Iunee posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:42am for Chapter 1
I want more :D Really nice!
Though I think you should overlook this sentence again:He liked that park because Dudley's gang would harass him there, what with all of the adults around in the early afternoons.
Oh, and once something happens "sudden;y" *g*
But I know, NaNoWriMo and the lack of betas are to blame.
Greetings,
I.
Ken Warner posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:37am for Chapter 1
what an excellent start to a story - exactly the right amount of detail to stimulate the imagination - great feeling for the way a 7 yr old believes that things can happen, hope growing over time and sufficient motivation - fabulous
Now it will be interesting to see the confrontation with the weasleys 1st and them standing up to dumbledork.
thanks and warm regards - guess that you no longer need a beta at this level of writing.
Musings of Apathy replied:
Oh, I despirately need a beta to sort out my tenses and get my seven and eight year olds sounding their ages, but with this writing schedule I can't use one. I'll be contacting you in December for help.
Thanks for the review.
dogbrother4 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:29am for Chapter 1
Excellent story. I can't wait to see where it goes.
Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:08am for Chapter 1
I've been waiting for someone to get bitten by this bunny!
...Oh, wait, this was your bunny. I see you pushed everything back a year (in recognition of how long this bunny's been sitting around?).
Just remember: no squick, all fluff! ^_^
Musings of Apathy replied:
That's my intention. I pushed everything a year so that I stick with canon ages and Bill having just left Hogwarts.
Thanks for the review.
bratling posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:02am for Chapter 1
*sniffle* I need more. I need the damn Dursleys PUNISHED!
amulder posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 2:57am for Chapter 1
The main problem is the maturity of both kids.
I know, kids are hard to write. But I have a 7yr old at home. And a 9yr old. These kids seem far too mature.
But I confess, my child probably lives a more carefree life than Harry.
Dave Harris posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 2:35am for Chapter 1
Interesting start - where do we go from here? :) The premise is good - Harry being beaten and apparating away - but I wonder how unique you can make this particular subject. I look forward to finding out.
The second paragraph was rather torturous to read. Tenses all over the place (and we don't "graduate" from school in Britain) that gave me a headache trying to figure out what time of year it was, and whether the elder Weasley boys were at Hogwarts or at The Burrow!
Characterisation of young Ginny was nicely done, though she seems a little mature. Eagerly anticipating the next installment. Do you have a schedule for posting, or is it just when it feels right?
Musings of Apathy replied:
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the rewrite.
Uthamm posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 1:58am for Chapter 1
Interesting story - How are you planning to handle the obsession that Ginny has with 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'? I can't imagine that she would not recognize him (or put two and two together)after all the books and name. Additionally, the 'wards' should alert Dumbledore that Harry is gone, right? That might work as an additional plot device - people find out that Dumbledore is looking for Harry and then Ginny puts it together.
Good work and looking forward to more!
Musings of Apathy replied:
I'm going to downplay her obsession, assuming that it happened later. She knows who he is, and I should have written that better, but she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. It'll come up, but it won't be earth shattering.
Thanks for the review.
Manatheron posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 1:03am for Chapter 1
O.O
WOW! You were right, This story has begun in the very best form of 'Luna's Hubby' ^.^ I Like your twist about harry's wandless magic though, Will he be keeping this ability? And how long is he going to go before the Weasly's discover him? Wait... Don't bother answering that last one :)
Please keep up the excellent work!
Manatheron
Harley posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:43am for Chapter 1
good story so far. Is she going to do what Luna did and have a pretend wedding that becomes real? Look forward to the next chapter.
EricThorsen posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 8:17am for Chapter 1