Katherine posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:30am

Great first chapter - can't wait to read the rest!

riegert8 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:24am

I like this story. it has a good start.

Life's a Dance posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:16am

Is this going to be a continuing story? If so, it's great :D

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:03am

Good chapter. It would benefit from a good beta'ing or re-edit, but it's still enjoyable.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

jilumasam posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 4:07am

Excellent! Looking forward to more!

Iunee posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:42am

I want more :D Really nice!

Though I think you should overlook this sentence again:

He liked that park because Dudley's gang would harass him there, what with all of the adults around in the early afternoons.

Oh, and once something happens "sudden;y" *g*

But I know, NaNoWriMo and the lack of betas are to blame.

Greetings,
I.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:37am

what an excellent start to a story - exactly the right amount of detail to stimulate the imagination - great feeling for the way a 7 yr old believes that things can happen, hope growing over time and sufficient motivation - fabulous

Now it will be interesting to see the confrontation with the weasleys 1st and them standing up to dumbledork.

thanks and warm regards - guess that you no longer need a beta at this level of writing.

Musings of Apathy replied:

Oh, I despirately need a beta to sort out my tenses and get my seven and eight year olds sounding their ages, but with this writing schedule I can't use one.   I'll be contacting you in December for help.

Thanks for the review.

dogbrother4 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:29am

Excellent story. I can't wait to see where it goes.

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:08am

I've been waiting for someone to get bitten by this bunny!

...Oh, wait, this was your bunny. I see you pushed everything back a year (in recognition of how long this bunny's been sitting around?).

Just remember: no squick, all fluff! ^_^

Musings of Apathy replied:

That's my intention.   I pushed everything a year so that I stick with canon ages and Bill having just left Hogwarts.

Thanks for the review.

bratling posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 3:02am

*sniffle* I need more. I need the damn Dursleys PUNISHED!

amulder posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 2:57am

The main problem is the maturity of both kids.

I know, kids are hard to write. But I have a 7yr old at home. And a 9yr old. These kids seem far too mature.

But I confess, my child probably lives a more carefree life than Harry.

Dave Harris posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 2:35am

Interesting start - where do we go from here? :) The premise is good - Harry being beaten and apparating away - but I wonder how unique you can make this particular subject. I look forward to finding out.

The second paragraph was rather torturous to read. Tenses all over the place (and we don't "graduate" from school in Britain) that gave me a headache trying to figure out what time of year it was, and whether the elder Weasley boys were at Hogwarts or at The Burrow!

Characterisation of young Ginny was nicely done, though she seems a little mature. Eagerly anticipating the next installment. Do you have a schedule for posting, or is it just when it feels right?

Musings of Apathy replied:

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the rewrite.

Uthamm posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 1:58am

Interesting story - How are you planning to handle the obsession that Ginny has with 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'? I can't imagine that she would not recognize him (or put two and two together)after all the books and name. Additionally, the 'wards' should alert Dumbledore that Harry is gone, right? That might work as an additional plot device - people find out that Dumbledore is looking for Harry and then Ginny puts it together.

Good work and looking forward to more!

Musings of Apathy replied:

I'm going to downplay her obsession, assuming that it happened later.   She knows who he is, and I should have written that better, but she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.   It'll come up, but it won't be earth shattering.

Thanks for the review.

Manatheron posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 1:03am

O.O

WOW! You were right, This story has begun in the very best form of 'Luna's Hubby' ^.^ I Like your twist about harry's wandless magic though, Will he be keeping this ability? And how long is he going to go before the Weasly's discover him? Wait... Don't bother answering that last one :)

Please keep up the excellent work!

Manatheron

Harley posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:43am

good story so far. Is she going to do what Luna did and have a pretend wedding that becomes real? Look forward to the next chapter.

ichtys posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:32am

Very god start. I look forward to reading the next chapter. The referance to the dog that Ron couldn't keep, because he belonged to a different family worked well. I don't know if Princess-Ginny isn't a bit too much, I can't picture Arthur and Molly raising her that way. Anyway, good start, and I think the way Harry and Ginny met was the best possible. I think their letters were a bit too mature, the words seemed complicated for a 9-year old boy.
regards Ichtys

Kinsfire posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:23am

And thus we see why children die all the time from abuse...

"I didn't think it could be that bad."

It's one of the reasons that I grew to HATE Dumbledore over the course of the books, and Molly's not my favourite either.

This is a good start, but I expect that the Weasleys will see the boy and insist that he go back, especially when Dumbledore gets word. He stated in canon that the protections were key - even Harry's safety was secondary.

I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

Musings of Apathy replied:

Thanks Keith.   I look forward to surprising you.

Mike (MoA)

knightsbridge posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:18am

I know this is a one-shot, but I wish you would continue with this. I think you mentioned that it was the story of Harry and Ginny growing up togther, and that would be a brilliant read...AU to be sure, but another vision on the HP/GW story would be something different and interesting, to say the least. Especially when Molley and Arthur fing who they have in their house!

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 12:09am

Great chapter, I can see her mom or dad walking in, in the morning and seeing them sleeping togather. I wonder if the alarms in Dumbldores office going off as soon as he left. You have to update soon.

MPF

Sibling Creature posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 11:27pm

*smiles* I've got to say I'm impressed. I love the way this chapter plays out, its a very promising start to the story.

I'd have to agree with Rebel Goddess that some of their vocabulary seems a little advanced. I also noticed that at the beginning of Ginny's first letter she twice refers to Errol as 'her'.

Good luck with the challenge in any case. Of course I have my own reasons for wanting you to be able to complete it... I want the rest of the story ASAP! ;-)

Musings of Apathy replied:

Thank you.   The probelms are a result of a lack of beta process.   It will be remedied in December or January.